Just one ordinary mom , just one ordinary day

Welcome to our life

when the going get tough

on October 1, 2013

Sometimes when the going gets tough we just have to suck it up and put our our big girl panties.
Yup there I said it .
recently there has been a tough situation in our family . I am not going to bore you with all the nitty gritty details but one thing I have learned is that if I can’t change it I can choose how i react to it .
Things have sucked. I am not going to lie. I literally have felt like i want to crawl into a hole with a blanket and a good book and just get lost. Unfortunately for me that’s not an option.
So i am choosing to put on my big girl panties. I will get through this no matter what it takes. Part of that is learning to let those around me help instead of taking it all on myself. I am very much a do it myself person. I am probably one of the most stubborn and determined person you could ever meet. Tell me I can’t and ill show you i can . Asking for help is like swallowing a bitter pill that get caught in your throat and leaves an aftertaste that lingers for days.
So i did ask for help . I was pleasantly surprised at the willingness of those around me . I had to open my mind to a new possibility and opened myself up to a new kind of love. Those who have helped are generous with their time and love . Not offering judgement but an acceptance.
The second thing Ive learned is acceptance. To accept that i am not super woman. Even though i am always armed with my superwoman pj’s i am not. I’d like to think that I am but I am not. I had to learn to accept that i am not always right, That change is not always a bad thing, That by allowing myself to be venerable I can learn that much more from those around me.
Third i’ve learned that expressing emotions is ok. I am not generally a person who cries. It’s not that i believe in some sadistic thinking that it’s only for the weak but that when i cry it shows how i truly feel. I like people to think that i have it all together. I felt that if I cry then I show people that I am a mess. I’ve built up the emotional walls so that i can turn things off and on like a light switch. I’ve had to learn how to tear those walls down and allow myself to feel things that scare me. I know how to show several emotions and that is it, Happy , Angry, Annoyed and sarcasm. Sarcasm being my go to . When I am hurt i tend to make snarky sarcastic remarks, When i am unsure how to react I turn to sarcastic humour. When i am scared i turn again to snarky sarcastic remarks. Yup you guessed it am a very Sarcastic person.
I have had to learn to turn the sarcasm off and express to others with a genuine response. Wow has that ever been hard. I have had to learn that it’s ok to cry . It’s alright to admit that i am scared . It’s alright to tell someone that you aren’t sure how you feel .
So When the going get’s tough put on your big girl panties and allow yourself these three things. I promise you that it’s not going to be easy but it’s going to be worth it .


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